CI 12

exploration. The universe and humanity are a close at hand frontier that has yet to be fully exploited, so happiness- the layperson’s holy grail –is often a particular aspect of interest.

But, to understand happiness, we need to understand all the other possibilities, in order to truly be aware to what degree we really have right to be merry and frivolous; I would not at all be surprised to find that we are not happy because we cannot understand our desires, passions, and frequent exercises that we are attempting to prove are the paths to such enlightenment. Does anyone really understand selfishness or selflessness, or even the elemental self? Of course not, existence always has a perpendicular face left unnoticed by our eyes, a reality at an angle we cannot perceive, a vast sea of infinite information that is ineffable. Every piece of information is a separate one, a unique point of reference with which to interpret all information, an act that will require all of time and space to translate completely. Now, it is impossible to say whether or not happiness is a possibility in our state of affairs, it may indeed be an infinite distance from us, or perhaps just a long way off. Who can truly say what is before it has transpired, and how can we be expected to be aware, when all that we are containing, and all in which we are contained, are utterly incapable of consciousness.

That would be unless you are willing to admit that all things are aware, are living and breathing, cognizant entities, either here or there. Either that or we are neither here nor there, in an inescapable limbo of the soul. The same is true of life, of truth, of lies, and of death. Either it is all true or all lies, or someplace where neither has any value. You understand my views on this by now. But life, the whole package, has yet to be determined to be in Hell or in death, or in heaven with certainty; it is a much grander complex, a stand alone complex, one that exists in copies yet has never truly had an original to be copied from, one where the values are varied and the outcomes a product of fate or luck, yet with a semi-residual paradoxical pattern of a supposed implicate order, one of holiness, purity, and perfection (things, I can assure you, are vastly different at times). Again, all categorizing attempts have only failed dismally, all attempts at ignorance an expression of this inability, the ability to realize certain ideas and convey them is not possibly ignored by all of one’s consciousness at any moment, however it may be the will of the explicate self to try and deny the image of truth in its purity, as information with nothing attached, as a Gordian knot of chains that drags you down into the inertia of infinite resistance; a property that disallows the interaction of these bodies, even though they are all connected by the plural singular chain of bondage associated with this phenomena of Stand Alone Complexes.

So, in essence, Cause and Effect, the Grand Arcanum of laws passed down in our civilized mind as a collective, is as wrong as an 800 year old Babylonian prostitute, yet as right as and angle of 90 degrees, both things which are surprisingly related by FLCL, another anime. What caused all these things, oh something all right, but it was nothing, literally. Remember that nothing, something, anything, and everything are all equivalent, in all forms: X, 1, 5, 0, and of course infinite numbers as well. If you can’t remember because it was supposedly unwritten, then I’ll only let you read the previous material so as to not completely waste your ability to think for yourself and figure things out. Even wrong ideas are wrong for a reason, and all these reasons are logically illogical, so don’t be illogically logically illogical (i.e. a dumb ass) and try to let it right itself. That mentality led to the 800 year old prostitutes: “that if I do what I can to get by, the world will fix itself.” It takes affirmative action, geniuses!

However, if all things, no thing, some things, and any things are all/some/not/any wrapped in these chains of infinite weight, how can anyone or anything be anything more than a link in the chain? That is the hard fact, which is barely an opinion, and a bare lie, being a hard truth. Don’t act like now I have lost it, remember, I lost it six years ago, and I still remain unsure if I ever had it at all. My insanity, that is, I’m mildly predisposed to disincline that I am sane, so that is the perfect excuse ratifying that I am indeed sane. I told you, I have never been really sure of if I have ever been insane, but ere go my recent fascinations, I cannot deny that I have at the same time never ever have been sane.

Yes, logic and faith, both things which are the same one, yet seem also to be without. No one truly has faith, because if someone really had absolutely no reason to believe, then they wouldn’t. It is an illogical phenomenon, faith, but one of logical process. But again, it is one of these two options, one of certainty of either, or one of uncertainty that disallows either to be certain in any form, thus rendering them useless. But if certainty and uncertainty are all part of this, then they too must exist, regardless of value. Either we ascertain that the truth exists beyond any mental function, or that it has no meaning anyway. So, is there life, truth, logic, or happiness? Is it certain, knowable, perfect and simple? Or are all descriptions meaningless, pointless entities which don’t exist at all anyway?

At any rate, information exists. Period. That is the only indefatigable truth. But “is” defines it; it gives this thing, this imperceptible, transcendent, fundamental point a word, and so much more. It allows truth, a truth that is truly pure of lies. It is part of the details, they are inseparable. But, if the reciprocal is only as it is within the context of coagulation, of finite number upon finite number, then it comes as no surprise that the infinite only can be viewed as the same, even though it is extremely different. I suppose it is the small minds at work on this problem, the ones unable to accept the asymmetrical standard of time, are not willing to separate the small and the large, nor are they clear on the middle number, just as people are ironically separating the past, future, and now even though they are the exact same entity. Yes, the infinite is one infinite, nothing more, nothing less, while the finite can by any value, only some part of the infinite value, so statistic and probability are meaningless, although present, concepts. Then the reciprocated form is attached to finite value, as it has to be. The amorphous nature of finite value systems as contrasted with the infinite whole leads to a major confusion at this point because all the systems are in some way finite. Infinity is given the value as one, completely speculative value as one can be anything times one, only proportion is affected, also a contemplative instrument because it is all the same proportion to real infinity, but not reciprocal, even though that is the proportion.

No, no, all of these systems are equal in measure, their spheres of influence reaching into one another at fundamental metaphysical structure. But they are not the same. This is so beyond anything I can understand how the structure, when altered only slightly, when two of the three factors are interchanged, the beast is very, very different. Finite numerology is definitely the definitive factor in all three, particularly the first two. The infinite is proportionately different from the reciprocal by an unbridgeable gap, infinity squared, a meaningless conjecture because it must be simplified, when multiplied to its reciprocal equals one. Same inversely, for the reciprocal to infinity, its proportion being an impossible number, one over infinity squared. Finite reality is the most self definitive, its proportions are realistic and its value indefinitely definite. It is the most mysterious, mostly because reality cannot exist beyond the plane which we inhabit, not in the sense of infinite in its greatest form. Nor also in the most fundamental sense, consciousness cannot arise there either, not infinitely full consciousness.

But do we have full consciousness, do we really? In the sense that we can experience all things, yes, but this cannot happen to everyone, we all must be biased, molded, and most appropriately, finite. We can have experience, in any way; it is the statistics that tell us that this happens to everybody, throughout the entirety of time. It takes true eternity to appreciate this, but we are infinite, there is always a part of us left to discover, and always a part to leave behind in someone else. But we have to rearrange all these different pieces in all their different forms for this to really have any achievement. Why is it not realistic, therefore, that there are an infinite number of people, and an infinite squared number of people, and infinite cubed…But these are unrealistic numbers. Therefore we are left exactly where we started off, realizing that truth is impossible, or logic, faith, all of these things. But reality is; it is infinitely in all moments the same infinity. It is the sum over histories that are reality which is impossible, yet it is the only constant. Again, my tiny mind cannot fathom reality, or any individual piece of it, for that matter. Nor can it make sense of the fundamentals. Therefore all things are as real as they are fake, as true as they are a lie, as uncertain as they are certain, as obvious as they are hidden, as left as they are right, up as they are down, forward as they are backward, as right as they are wrong. It is only as it is not. Perhaps zero isn’t so impossible, perhaps it is.

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