CU 05

meaningless. Oh well, it happens to all words when they are understood from a fundamental standpoint. Not a fundamentalist standpoint, but a pure and unaffected standpoint that disregards the conspiracy theory that people know what they’re doing. No one really knows what they are doing, because the ending to all these unwritten books called Crystal, Ricky, La’teffe (right?), ect. are beyond mortal access. Not that i really need to know the ending before it comes, or that i need to understand the beginning. It is just one book among many, one person that will be trodden over as time marches on. Hey, how can i complain? How can i be complacent? Do you have answers for these questions, or do you even bother to ask? That, dear reader, is what i expect. Provocation in the cerebrum, that is. Or is it cerebellum? One of those two, i’m sure of it. i don’t have any intent to become a neurosurgeon, figuring towards all the mental damage i cause from the outside. Again with the over justification of my own thoughts. I really am too afraid of other people. Or is it fear of ignorance in high places? Yeah, that sounds about right, to me at least.

There is another problem with religion, right and wrong. One can argue, just like the higher courts, that either the sentence is fair or unfair, but the basis for these opinions is lost in the obscurity of the Bill of Rights. Some say that society should affect court decisions, and some long for consistency. With right and wrong, biblically, environmental effects were highly unknown and extremely dangerous. Now, advents of science and technology largely banish these undesired agents of god’s punitive, if not taciturn, maliciousness. AIDS is a clever new weapon, i’ll admit, but, it can be undone, and will be; fueled perhaps, by rich celebrities who will try to extend their efforts to the less fortunate (one of those aaaah, how sweet moments). But, disregarding generosity of the more fortunate -or clever, depending on the way you see it in the business world- people are strangling civilization, straddling all of the weight of many deprived, broken nations around the few that are surviving. A perfect example is Mexican illegal immigration. The only reason that it is a controversy is because some see it as a means of survival for the individual, and that it fuels cheap labor, a boon economically. However, the facts are distorted, for despite the efforts of some illegals, many just collect welfare, draining money away from many much more important fields of interest. But whose fault is that? Politicians, afraid of losing popularity, refuse to acknowledge the incredible waste of the welfare system. Besides, the social schisms that the over-contributing Mexican population is creating could only turn into a powder keg down the road. As if it hasn’t already, with protesters marching down the streets in towns all over the southern regions of the U.S. Even gang issues are becoming more and more polarized due to this. The melting pot of America seems to becoming more or less Hispanic as time wears on. But that is more than enough to get peoples’ blood boiling.

Now, Asian immigrants are just as dangerous. The very sophisticated crime syndicates, at least in this state, are run by Asian gangs. Kudos for cleverness, but seriously, the problem could only get worse if it is not strangled in infancy. Yes, in the political clime of today, with Mexican emphasis, any other race\class feels free to do as they see fit. Of course, people of any race are morons, and this will quickly degenerate into new and horrendous issues. i guess i’m going to be on clean-up duty along with the rest of my generation, trying to fix all the issues created in the Baby Boom Dynasty. As much as i hate to say it, the ideal of America is rapidly fading away, and we become so much more global, another case of a historical oddity that couldn’t stand the besiege of internal cancers and external predators. If only it weren’t so apparent…ignorance is bliss…? But there must be a way to fix all these incredibly redundant and retarded issues. i would hate to see the last world superpower brought to its knees by anything less than global holocaust. But, alas again, my sense of melodrama will be the death of me. With powers of persuasion i fear that my voice will be heard and the ignorant masses will take up arms and lead us to death’s great gate. Oh well, “che serah serah.” Again, it is all just one piece of a massive puzzle.

Right and wrong here are just words that serve as dialogue in a prewritten, post destined script. “All the world is a stage” after all, and i must concur, that, “we are just players in it.”

Yes, i must admit, that i do barrow from tale, fable, literature, dead philosopher, all alike, but i do have reason: credibility. Who doubts the past, except those that are afraid of its portents toward their own future? And also, it is truth, in a form that is simple, albeit metaphorical. The relations that the Greeks and Romans used for their gods are prevalent in today’s informational context, for time has not torn down those bridges just yet…

i talk so much about people, almost from an outsider’s perspective. Objectivity is crucial, however, in clarity and wisdom. If i could be another person for even a single moment i would cease to be myself forevermore. But identity is such a fragile thing, easily broken, maimed, lost; but it is forged over a lifetime. A powerful sense of self and awareness of the self create a worldview, the likes of which is the perfect paragon of an opponent of dogma, in a social, political, and spiritual sense. But awareness is not achievable by all, i fear. However, one could similarly ask: “what is attainable by everyone and everything?” Certainly not love, nor sex, happiness, fame, fortune, friends, family, even life; no, nothing exists with certainty. Not even me, for i cannot give proof to the fact that i exist, and there is no credibility to my memories and persuasions. If nothing is certain, then what is it that is left for us to do here? i suppose anything we want. In all fairness, there is nothing wrong or right about what anyone does to themselves or each other, as it is all personal and largely subjective. I do think that i think, how circular is that argument, but anyway, i am merely what i am and do. Seeing as this is all information in a complex and unstoppable machine, what profound reality is there? None, i suppose, where if everything has a place, nothing does. This is true due to the necessity of things: if all of the universe serves in a function and participates in an important matter, then there is no actual struggle to find what one is supposed to do. And for want of a want of a path to walk, one is lost. And for want of this

one, another is soon lost. In the grand complexity of all these things, everyone is soon lost. All as it should be. Even though it cannot be admitted to ultimately, there is one simple and deep truth that sets aside all notions of subject, object, complexity, rational, belief, purpose, meaning, life, and -yes, there is a positive note- of course death. People don’t want to really know the ultimate answer, to see themselves as insignificant specks but simultaneously integral pieces in a massive game, a fundamental play of reality. They want to feel important, sure, everyone does, myself included, but to see it as a farce and to deny the size of the illusion would leave them with but one small kernel of truth. I must admit, that this simple and unappealing truth can leave one as empty as the sadness of death. Inevitability has that effect on human psychology. But that is truth; there is no other way for truth to operate. It is consistent always, never faltering for anyone or anything. Anyone can add to this description of reality, but the picture that they paint will be a constricting, ignorant fake article of truth at its purest, elemental level. What other element but information, grand and pathetic, not human, alien, or anything really, except everything fundamentally. The details do not represent reality as it is at its most basic; the religious political setup, the scientific observatories of elegant math, relationships, selfishness, selflessness, art, any and all, combined to any fascinating level of complexity you desire, it falls short. Maybe i am wrong, but ignorance in all the different fields such as the ones i mentioned blends possibility and certainty into an impossible to separate mess. Playing it safe is the only way for me to keep my integrity as a thinker. Who needs integrity? Who needs anything? It is just another want of mine, another whim to keep my insanity to a manageable level. But again, sanity, who needs it?

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