CU 04

can have faith, for isn’t there always more than what there appears to be? Even in infinitude, godliness, humanity, basic tangible reality, surprises and tricks abound.

How much power does belief have in this world, or the next? This too, is but an expression of faith, faith in reality, and faith in the dogma which you were ignorantly exposed to and you ignorantly accepted. But you and i, are we so different? Or so much the same? Nobody knows, and ignorance, in its seemingly endless reign over our insignificant human consciousness, holds the reigns of its feudal lords (sexuality, curiosity, felicity, fear, religion, ego -its many sons and daughters) with iron fists. Although, it would need many more than simply two hands to control all the subdivisions and provinces in its vast, if not infinite kingdom. What more irony than intellect herself to be in marriage to this ogre of a god? But, if not for the complexity and power of the brain in homo sapiens, then we would not even have ignorance. Ignorance comes from fear of pain, and fear of pain is a smart way to avoid death. And yet, how is it created and yet in control? Ignorance has intellect to coordinate its politics, what else is there? Profound?

Ah, but profound is merely a word that means “i see the vastness of it” or rather, no other meaning holds sway in the general scope of things. But this vast world is not so grand. Even the lack of superficiality can become it, given the utter lack of possibilities. And in this manner do i hold religion in such contemptible perceptions. Even though it gives answers to the baser questions of who, what, how, and why, if probed but a finite number of times with each of these questions, the whole dogma comes crashing down. The Christian worldview answer to, “why are we here” is: to glorify an almighty and omnipotent being, Yahweh. And while some can except god’s proposed sovereignty, i cannot. i realize the pitiable existence of humanity is not one that should be left alone, but humans are not ignorant creatures socially. Given enough different choices, people will have to rationalize their actions. A yes or no question, like “does god exist?” is so parochial and demeaning to the concept of god that it ruins the whole basis of religion. i myself have no fault in this utter lack of depth, as long as there are an infinite number of these layers to add to reality. The truly ridiculous part of dogma is the social chains that people willingly shackle around themselves. People are truly a fearful creature, if they are afraid of their own capabilities and aspirations. As in the matrix “to deny our own impulses is to deny what makes us human.” Is that not correct? But, the impulses that we are sensitive to, the stimuli are all environmentally based. In a social environment, as it has to be, in society, what impulses are there other than ones between people. So many of the proposed conflicts are demolished. At least, until nature has its way with us, as it so loves to on occasion.

Prediction is not a power, however, it is a principal, and i do not by into the idea that knowledge is power, for if it was, then people would gain superhuman powers as soon as they logged on to the internet, or even turned on the television. Not knowledge, but ignorance. For in ignorance can people find almost all their strength stored away. Ku klux klan, is one abominable example. Radical Muslim terrorists share a common thread: intolerance. But, i think if you can shove ignorance and intolerance down people’s thoughts, what would be so different from force-feeding individualism, intellect, and tolerance to society. By stripping away power at one time, you can relinquish it all and even more as soon as political tides give favor to a cause. Or even more profound, by stripping away life’s pleasure and substituting duty and thanklessness, god allows greater reward in the afterlife. Nonetheless, i would not bank on that religious principle. Unknowable forces of control are all alike: they all are tyrannical. Benevolence is not indifferent from tyranny in some regards, yes, but just as political tides are ever waning and waxing to some philosophical shores, so too, emotions and whims of an absolute controller will change. God needs no principal to maintain his predisposed power than one paradoxical concept: his absolute sovereignty. Since he decides what is good, bad, fair and unfair, what real definitions are there other than his? Difference to this is still considered heresy.

Maybe, on some very uncertain context, peoples’ powers of disbelief will cast god into the shadows of historical obscurity. It would be a much more tragic, beautiful tale of time and humanity, and even gain some favor in a much more fractionized future. But, this god may just go on without us, creating another world and another race to try and soothe the gaping psychological wound in his mind. And to this day, we may be telling the tale of a past, not of a future. In a reality where divinity and humanity are two fused but largely individual states, this is a possibility. But there are so many more tales to tell. Tales of course filled with brands of magic, majestic technologies, and still, those that are very, very comparable to the one we have in mind. Even so, how is it truly possible to separate these ideologies, space-time’s, and people from ourselves? ……………………………-………………..ignorance. By squashing the imagination and fascination of it, burying it with dead religions and unimportant people, people wish to place a restraint on the capability of difference from becoming apparent. Not that this too isn’t, in and of itself, a particular possibility that too, must be respected because of its inevitable reality. It disappoints me, personally, but how can i protest that this is not as it should be? If there were anyone that weren’t attached to the infinite chain of complex causality, then they would not really be in existence, for their presence would be negated by their ineffectiveness. Perhaps people can be banished from participation in existence, or godhood, super participation and effective control. Or really, how can we define god? Could it merely be someone powerful to have created us and know what we are doing, correct? This is no small task, but nor is it beyond the bound of finite power. Can one go about becoming a god? Or the reverse? Why should this be impossible, in a truly miraculous and complete infinite world? The best of all possible worlds is not the same as the one Candid was informed of for no one is truly happy, and yet the world plods along, discovering some very interesting things, then lapsing into periods of unrest and boredom. This is again disturbed by events of an interesting nature, but back down into the pit of despair do they go. What keeps these perpetual machines called psyches flowing and evolving? What else but the repulsive, constantly unbalanced forces of existence.

Repulsive and compulsive. Impulsive and well thought out. Predestined, spontaneous, and post destined, spontaneously post affected (not forgetting effected), and all of the marvelously, impossibly infinite reservoirs of thought and behavior. Paradoxical, circular, linear, and just plain impossible. What is the force of life and death, of space and time, of happiness and the lacking thereof?

Information, it is elementary in all things. What an incredible happy thought it is at this moment, to be knowledgeable of the basest, most complete series of philosophies, all heard from such a young thinker. But, buying into reincarnation, what age really suits me if, in fact, all the composite information contained within myself has always existed? Oh, the happiness, it drains away, just as quickly as it came, but alas, it shall be renewed! With the remaining strength of my complacency i manage a smirk at the cleverness of that last statement. A sigh, the breath of millions of ideas giving way to death in my heart. Is that the coldness of which i am so aware, so…attached to, by bonds of smoldering malice. Yes, yes, a quiet yet intoxicating malice toward the god that put me on this plane. Oooh…so bipolar. Another smirk; now, as i continue, my intellect remembers its true place behind my outpour of

simple, stand-alone actions and thoughts. Ah, the simplicity of this nostalgia, but it is a cherished friend,*sob*. Nooo, not really, just another yawn, my sprinting mind desires sleep and recuperation, i am guessing. But there is no time like the present if i am to attempt at forty pages this Christmas season. We shall see, won’t we? So sluggish, a heavy pall of lead-based ideas drags my weak mind to the depths of narcosis. But hey, there is a world here too, a world based so little off of this one, but yet similar. I cannot help but imagine the slight possibility of subconscious connections to other places, times, people, me’s, just waiting for the chance to surface, to affect a new entity’s growth in my swollen self identity. What crime is it, Dostoyevsky, that i may be punished for my own sins by my own personality. Ay, life is a cruel place. But pain can intoxicate people, can envelope them just as surely as pleasure and people can. A shame really, an ignorance of all sensations can narrow the mind’s eye to this lonely place called earth.

Materialism or not, humanity or not, Christ or not, the world…is. Why go into the politics of it? God’s politics, economist policies, social contracts; isn’t it all a mass delusion propagated by the disproportionably delusional? But such conspiracy theories go only so far, and then take us back to the prison of the mind. Huh, another Matrix quote. Not without its great points, not without its own sense of shallowness and emptiness, but a truly unique movie experience. How can anyone deny its incredible explanatory power? By denying the facts that reality is a massive program, computed or not? By undermining the basis using pre-established dogma? Individual interpretations can give rise to distorted visions of the experience, and the vice of versa certainly pertinent as well. Maybe too much credit is given to those movie patrons – maybe not enough. Anything outside my own universe of sounds and sights, thoughts, and emotions, is completely artificial. But, since the outside world is my own origin, then i too am artificial. And you: such a word as artificial then becomes

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