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Written 2/7/09 1757-2254

Purple does the rain walk


in the hills

of Green knives



The fauna is thirsty

they drink the red out of the rain



Yellow sometimes is the rain for this

desperate is its concern.



From Violet passion to envious




What was once Crimson in self

What was once Orange for the Arches of Heaven

What was once Pink with out worry or concern for anything


Now, fallen deep Blue and gained  freedom

far removed from that once bright beginning…



Descending from purity, it now wearily walks

among the weeds that might aspire to touch

Arches—trees in their deep souls.



The rain knows its proud and unfinished past

—seeking to reach the bottom of the world

learned that the truth was not in the skies

knowing that trees will beautify the air

hoping that their roots will follow it into

the depths of time and trust in the worlds firmament.


Great waters await the trees.

The rain wishes that it is Purple,

The rain will not keep anything not truly itself,

The rain will walk in the hills — forever free.

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CI 01


The final Inspired, Unnecessary Document

Sin is grace.      Imperfection is perfection.   Yin is Yang.  They are so inseparable that their identities and characteristics become meaningless. 

Sin is grace because it is acceptance and approval of that which God cannot do.  Light is meaningless without darkness.  So too, perfection without any contrast- a beautifier. 

There is a fundamental need of death, for evil, for erasure of the past and movement blindly toward a future.  Make no mistake.  Satan is a god.  The god of Futility & Despair, for which God’s hope and promise become desirous. 

And the paradox of God is that he is human. God without any evil is a human.  Entirely; perhaps with more power than anyone could hope to acquire for billions of years, but an inevitability- just read Genesis 11 if you feel skeptical of my claims.  However, a righteous God did not create evil.  Hmmmm…. Yes, only a human would invent something simply to destroy it.  But what about that omnipotence and omnipresence? What about Omnibenevolence and Justice? 

What indeed.


God has neither Body nor soul.  We have souls, but they are nothing but a metaphysical anchor, dead wait. It is godly, but not God.  No, God exists everywhere all at once, which is precisely the same as saying he doesn’t exist anywhere!  He is analogous to infinity in another respect- he is a mental description, nothing more or less.  How interesting then that we think ourselves either godly or not, when at the very best we can only be humanely.

Scientists, the most ardent of champions of real progress in the entropic world, know this.  They see the world as descriptive, while religions take that information as prescription. Ha!  As if they could be the worlds doctors, the most hypocritical caste of society!

What folly; and yet, self-justification becomes meaningless in a world where the 3 lb. Lilan Egg is just a storage and processing unit for the many Intangibles in the world.  So it can be true- no, is it true: we need God, not the other way around! Except ‘need’ is a prescriptive thought system, and describes nothing; it cannot be in the greatest of Truths.

Science should strive for is’s, not ought’s, and religions the vice versa, even though many humans ‘feel’ the need for both.  How frail is this squishy ball of grey matter.  Alas, humans are always afraid to stand on their own two legs without help; it is in this way that even the most benign memes can turn against their masters!  The most catastrophic fear is that of the Invisible, the Indwelling, and the perceived externals.


We are Barrowers. It is natural, everything borrows from everything else.  I am barrowing from those around me and the reverse is true as well.  They say that death is free, but actually it comes at an exorbitantly high price: Life.  The opposite also can be posited with certainty.  These statements are neither contradictory nor circumstantial- the economic system of the Universe is not perfect, nor will it ever be. There is never and always a value of 0.  No one can take or give everything entirely; therefore insubstantial existence is what we will find in reality.  Every piece of currency :body, mentality, spirituality, everything changes hands ad infinitum, and is the slight differentiation of these bits of Change that allow for the vast proliferation of God’s empty bank accounts.  Any statement, no matter how initially worthless, could become an ideal mental/spiritual currency in the fullness of Time, because it will always have been true [= valuable] to someone at some point in time.  Yet the world is made of “dollars” not denominations of them, so no one can follow the underground River of Life; its course is completely unpredictable.  Yet this river is dry and dead- remember?  Again, the identities and 0, 1, and infinity become ambiguously distinct- or is it the reverse?


I had been whiling away the days, and there were a great deal of insidious thoughts that clouds one’s faith.  I had struggled so much to believe, for even as I was ordained, I was quickly losing my trust in the Lord.  But one day a member of the church asked, “Father Dennis, if God knew what we were going to do beforehand, what choices did we actually make?”  He said the words in a depressed manner, though almost flat with emotion, and his face tense, but also lacking emotion. 

I sat in a long contemplative silence then realized, “God’s sovereignty and good will are unmatched and irrefutable.  No matter what occurs, know that His will in being done to the realization of the best of all possible worlds, both in this, and the hereafter.”

When I had finished, it was as if a great block had been lifted off of my mind, and I suddenly found that once again I realized the truth:  I was chosen, as were many others, to come in to the ultimate blessing of God; I could not have been more completely aware of the definition of “rapture” at that moment.  I was transported to a place of new faith, a fire had once again been lit in my soul.  My face, it seemed, showed the progress of my thoughts; and my patron, Richard- who would later rise to his own fame- merely scrutinized me, and rolled the thoughts around in my his like boulders, waiting for them to settle, before he would speak again.

Punctuating the silence once more: “Pastor, that may be true, but if I didn’t choose Him, then why am I being rewarded? And why not many others choose as well?” 

A great sadness seemed to precipitate, like slowly forming dew droplets in the late part of a mild spring, and the understanding came with it.  The great cost of happiness, of grace. 

All I managed to say was, “The good Lord cannot have everyone to himself, for it is by the darkness of the world God’s light shines so brilliantly.”

And although I feel in the deepest part of my convicted heart that God’s will is perfect, I couldn’t help but worry about the fate of such a man, occupying Mr. Dawkins’ mind that was all ego, and nothing of God.


Desires are temporal trials

darkness resonates in the

Chambers of the Mind

those petty wraiths can be shoed

away from items, people

but these scurrying,

insectile vermin unite.

A deliberate force which

Conquers, commands, yet…

Desire itself, immortalized-

the blackest shade


As God is the harbinger of

love, peace, and truth

He cannot escape himself

He has naturally

The Greatest of Shadows


Light defines all

darkness allows




People have lived, in the full spectrum of blessedness and cursedness, and have decided that life is not worth living.  What fundamentally is different about the afterlife? How is eternity advantageous, practical, or just??


What matters? I implore you, tell.

But then I must ask another question:

What lasts for eternity? What do we know?

And another thing, yes, that one answer: Information

That is all that Is…

But of that, Time, and our reality,

is there forever? Have you seen it?

“This” is a Magician’s hat, at most we

feel the texture, perhaps we hear a brain….

Illusion and reality merge,

illumination and shadow, the panorama

of our setting Sunrise- the majesty of

the spreading Twilight


An important associated quote:

“In fact, we philosophers and ‘free spirits’ feel ourselves irradiated by a new dawn that the ‘old God is dead’; our hearts overflow with gratitude, astonishment, presentiment, and expectation.  At last, the horizon seems open once more, granting even that it is not bright; our ships can at last put out to sea in face of every danger; every hazard is again permitted to the discerner; the sea, our sea, again lies open before us; perhaps before did such an ‘open sea exist.”


[a disclaimer] 

poetry is just words

emanating from the lips of the soundless

Cognitive thoughts the crazy people think

those senseless images of pears, birds, and rivers…


War and death are all too common,

love and loss now a mere cliché

Insanity provoking the sanest contemplation


And yet still the listeners and readers show

All the masochists of the most pathetic sort

trying to squish their minds around simple models

Fail miserably, for why should I care?

This is all Made Up Crap


Alas, an epiphany!  How fortuitous, to think that I have perhaps not dried up the parts of my mind that are capable of creating and discussing new concepts.  But we will see.  The question now is:  Where do the false-truths go? 

It may seem something austere in its utter vacuity- to say nothing about the complete contradiction inherent in such a question.  It doesn’t even have to be a statement to be wrong!  Yet, let us ponder the opposite idea: things that are true- in the ordinary sense, in the regular world- exist.  2+2=4, for average values of 2, oranges are orange; the sea battle that occurs tomorrow will be one by the ship with the captain that did not die right before its commencement, and so on. They are parts of reality, to the express exclusion of falsehoods. Thus, the question becomes: where or what is nonexistence?  Can anything not exist?  Existence may be queer, but the idea of dealing with something which not only lacks substance of empirical value of any kind, but must forever by its very nature remain impossible to probe physically or mentally or even spiritually- should such a possibility even exist- ought to be something that puzzles one.  But people avert their eyes from the invisible- it seems only natural to do so. “Maybe Something” certainly exists in both of these two worlds- the one that exists, and the one (many?) that do not; men to dot ever tire of looking at things they “think they see.” So why does this taboo against impossibility, unreality, falsehood, hold so much sway?  Such concepts are the sacrifices that are offered up to summon the very essence of truth- Sir Arther Conen Doyle made the remark here famous: “Eliminate the impossible, and whatever remains, is the truth.”  Indeed, empiricism- therefore science, rationalism- therefore psychology, and half of Philosophy is based on the idea that, barring finding truths, we can eliminate falsehoods. The exile of ideas must be to some place- the opposite of epistemological musing?  So what does it mean for something to not exist- and in a state as such, naturally observe a falsehood? Nonexistence’s necessary existence is that formidable lie, and a beast that seems to come at us only when we wish to extend ourselves past reality, and into MS territory. 

I may have said before that nonexistence is merely the state which we can only never see the invisible thing that is out there, and that it must in fact, be real, otherwise all things in existence would have no truth value to them, and no knowledge would be possible value, as it would both fail to exist, but be a specific form of nonexistence- something which, like a black hole, “has no hair.”

Curious thing those black holes, they are indeed a vortex of curiosity, they are a fascinating phenomenon which literally form boundaries beyond which our understanding fails us- timelessness, quantum identity ceases, its even purported to be such a link to other physical worlds. String Theory, long on postulates but short on evidence at this point in time, makes the fantastic statement that these are merely massive elementary particles, like electrons or photons.  It is such a bald physical entity that its conceptual parallel with existent Nonexistences seems noteworthy; they are paradoxes that do yet remain with us.  We cannot know what they are besides their uniqueness as entities, but we know what they aren’t.  The intriguing possibility that the universe exists as a massive quantum computer- mental components attached, would seem to allow for these banished ideas to be embodied fully in such bizarre demons of cosmology…


So, if we assume that Reality is the sum total of all information- whether true or false, known or unknown, possible and impossible even, then falsehoods are merely relativistic entities. Such is so for other universes, which in principle do exist under Eternal Inflation and/or Chaotic Inflationary models espoused by Guth, who fittingly takes a liking to the string theorist community, for their “shared enthusiasm for things that have no empirical consequences” as he puts it in one of his lectures.  This final pronouncement and somewhat explanation only leads back to where we started at the top of the page: what is the “mechanism” whereby possible truths are relocated to other distinct realities?  It has been asserted all throughout physics that knowledge, ironically enough, may allow one to positively ID the trajectory of spacetime itself.  But, with the advent of Quantum mechanics, and black holes that ruin the information that falls prey to them, such information is nearly impossible to get, and even so, only the various possibilities, the googolplex of various worlds.  So, truth changes in time, and truth changes time as well? It seems that the effects of Intelligence are very good at manipulating reality on the smallest of scales. At least, if Intelligence’s true aim is to frustrate itself, then this propensity shows no bounds.  Quantum bits are ever shifting, reality is amorphous when we aren’t looking at it, yet we claim to even empirically be able to know the universe as a physical entity?  This is a dubious statement, especially given the “Cat-and-Mouse” framework of chasing down concrete reality.  It leads many to consider that Intelligence is the Universe, or that the universe is intelligent.  Either way, what can we infer about truth, or rather, what isn’t true? 

There would certainly be a subset of realities that cannot be real: those that do not adhere to our rules of logic, mathematics, and/or physics wouldn’t strictly speaking be realities, but artificial realms which could not be sustained indefinitely.  This is particularly true if logic is thrown out the window whenever one leaves the universe.  But, if logic departs, then how should the Illogical be constrained by logic?  The unsustainable would be perfectly serene and timeless, just like a multiverse, simply because it could.


I’ve made mention of this, that impossibility produces all possibilities simultaneously by way of a trick of nature: impossibility cannot infringe upon possible worlds, because if it were, then the identities of impossibility and possibility would be moot, and we wouldn’t be here to discuss the matter.  Unless of course all of this is but one moment that disobeys timeless Impossibility- an objection which would, in its very conception, prove that Possibility is once again a subset- a natural product of the Impossible. What the parameters are for Possibility are unnecessary considerations, because even if there were only a finite set of possible worlds, impossibility could simply change that.  After all, the human mind imagines worlds and individuals- which, given the unique nature of consciousness, are nearly universes unto themselves.  Imagined individuals are, for all intents and purposes, indistinguishable from real persons.  It is impossible to make the distinction between this dream we call life and the dreams we call “self”- and personalities change, even so much as coming into existence as two or more identities in one mind.  Adding to this that we seem to be at the whim of the determined universe, even if only probabilistically, even if only neurologically, there is little difference between ourselves and those imagined beings in a book, which do not know that they are imagined- for the most part.

This seems to be a trend- of being unable to make distinctions in the light of all that we have at our disposal- and if I am unable to tell the difference between reality and obvious fiction- it seems unlikely that there is one.  We may or may not be connected to other realities- and if the chance exists, then some of these fictions are indeed related.   We may or may not be able to control ourselves- but if the possibility exists, then there certainly are some peoples that can, and do not interfere with those of us that do not.  I do not even need to limit them to avoiding our deterministic universe- after all- we do not understand what determinism really is, at the end of the day. 

Is Intelligence the ability to alter reality, or is reality the ability of the world to imitate such Intelligence- while possessing no genuine talent of its own- like most machines?  Some mix of the two is, as stated, possible, or even yet, neither.  All that allows for this is the relative absolutes of non-communicative realities.  The relative aspect deals with the interaction of concepts that are contingently doing so, and the absolute aspect with the fact that only a finite amount of concepts are allowed to play at any given time.   After all, you can’t play poker with an infinite amount of players, even with an infinite amount of decks in play.  Some metaphysics will win in some realities, and different ones in others.  The winnings are most likely just shares of possibility in that universe. Those with no winnings- such as free will- make themselves scarce; those with a little cash on hand- play a small part


All that is left, it seems, are the special cases for impossible scenarios- where concepts cannot work together, metaphysically speaking.  These scenarios are simply “house take all” realities that have no influence on any other worlds except that Impossibility does not assume a null state: it doesn’t “stay” impossible, meaning that the only impossibility was the existence of nonexistence- or, it could be reversed- the nonexistence of existence.  You see, something would begin to exist, but be swallowed up by dominant nonexistence- like a quantum singularity, which, if universal would be the same as nonexistence because it’s possibilities- it’s probable growth into a distinct spacetime/ reality would never be realized.  I do not make that most egregious distinction of the “infinite wait” versus “not at all” argument.  I keep stating that if something doesn’t interact with the World- though it may be a fractal contingency in such a world (read “any novel whatsoever”)- then it is the same as it not existing.  Imaginary things are conceptual not factual lies, they occupy our time- but it is the illusion that keeps us busy, not the real incarnation itself. 


But, this is too a distinction- and it can interpreted that in fact we are seeding realities- or more accurately, weakly interacting with those realities.  It would be the same as if the Matrix concept (something that is not unique, but readily available) were extended a great amount of times- and each artificial reality creates the next- and finally it loops back onto itself.  The human conception of ego does this very trick.  It is an illusion of self control created by other forces and processes that passes a threshold of conceptual and physical memory states, such that is functions as a force all on its own, and working to continue doing so by continually feeding back into this circuit. Which, of course is physically evidenced by how synapses have an incredible amount of plasticity to them, and how a written system of thought was derived from and made as a storage for these processes, and in so doing, creating an “ego-less” conceptual feedback loop analogous to our own brains.  All that we do especially well as human beings- our only true talent- is imitation. Evidenced is provided by neuroscience once again in mirror neurons- which allow for human interaction; the “instant replay” function of our problem solving skills; and mental imagery; and added to our own robust skills of contemplation, created our knack for invention- taking concepts out of nature- animals, plants, the stars, eventually to the point that concepts controlled us as much as we did them. The same thing occurs in every human being, until the process is stopped by more powerful forces. 

And just how “life” emerged from its imitation by nonliving substances and our own social system is built upon us imitating the meanings in words and behaviors of others, reality may be just the best imitation that exists right now for us.  I certainly can see no alternative to this compelling state of affairs: that imaginary planes cohabitate in a larger reality; that we ourselves are suffused with pre-existing artificial concepts and continue to process and create paradigms; that we cannot find a limit to what truth and knowledge are even though we know more about those concepts to the exclusion of all other species- would lead me to think that the distinction between reality and fantasy is only as great as the persuasive evidences that this is a genuine article- me, the world, logic and truth, and all of these evidences are based on the same principle. That reality can be taken at face value when even all of this is taken into account is laughable, as nonexistence implies a state of existence.  “Why is there something rather than nothing?” One possible answer: reality is impossible to create, and Impossibility creates.  Logic is unnecessary when it cannot explain what happened to allow something impossible to become possible, and yet brazenly tacking logic onto something which it should not apply has the interesting result of producing a scenario which allows for Possible to merely play second fiddle in the grandest of schemes, and that our unique reality becomes a necessary product of the relationship of paradoxes in formulating thought.  Considering Epimendes’ Paradox, that: “This statement is false.” As just one such catalyst for truth and falsehood being simultaneous in reality , then such a quaint little universe such as ours is only a figurative stone’s throw away…


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CI 02

                               Collection of inspired works                              Rick Stephens

                         50+ pages of intellectual and egomaniacal ranting                  11-05-05


        Warning: reading this is a hazard to your comfortable worldview                 


     “Memory and imagination are but one thing, which for diverse considerations have diverse names”-Schwartswold (fictional character from Japanese anime Big O, episode 17 [Leviathan]).  This really has nothing of great concern in my writings to be excerpted from, and at the same moment, is the perfect representation for all my writings. Scoff if need be, however, there is an irrational amount of theological wisdom and intellect in nearly all Japanese manga (as contrasted with American comic books, cartoons, and/or movies).  For example, Ruruni Kenshin has a character (I believe it was spelled as Shishioh) who relies utterly on Darwinism to support his really evil motives, and he actually makes quite a few important points.  Another being Ghost in the Shell: in the first movie, it is all about what the considerations and changes necessary to the definition of humanity should be when we all become ingrained in cybernetics, a time when, as Batou (a main character) put it, “All the information that someone accumulates in life is just another drop in the bucket.”  That is something that can be realized today, in the world where most people are just an algorithm of numbers (phone, address, pin #, IQ, ect.) and people lose sight of the depth lying just beneath the surface of the numbers.  Well, actually, that is only what people might say to be true, when really, numbers define existence. However, if you actually take the time to read this, I won’t have to try to convince you of this.


     To ask me the Universal Flaw is to open Pandora’s Box, it unleashes a very sad, destructive truth on the world.  The truth is that there is no meaning within reality or the universe. Now, it is vital to make the distinction between purpose and meaning, in that the television has the purpose of spreading information very fast, but meaning is indicated by the actual information and whether it holds any kind


of value (and it is up in the air as to whether or not any of it is productive).  Now, the universe-which is its contents, only exists to fill a specific logistical slot, which is only one of an infinite number of them.  We are to fill a specific hole in reality’s quantum-mechanical probability grid, and this grid is infinite, because the spacetime we are immersed in is infinite.  Our entire existence, which is (outrageously) a part of the universe which is fundamental and unchanging, only is on one point in the entire grid, which is good, because there has to be room for the infinite quantities of other universes.  Now, this appears outrageous, but anyone knows that there is always something that is preceding our present, being something infinite (most falsely assume that this is an implication of a god), and another that proceeds the present into the unending future (again people look to a creator for answers). If there are an infinite number of universes, altogether referred to as the multiverse (what a surprise) any act of “godhood” can be replicated: creation, life, and miracle.

     This is just a matter of chance, in fact. Creation requires energy, which is supplied by collisions between these universes; life therein is a product of luck, which really has overwhelming possibility of occurring: if you have a miniscule chance of something occurring, but there is a never-ending sequence of random events, then it will happen, and it won’t just happen once, it will occur every so often on the timeline, which being everlasting, holds an infinite amount of these occurrences- whatever you can imagine will happen, regardless of your ability to observe or remember. 

     Now while it may seem odd that you have just read this and yet can’t recall ever having a pet dragon or being ruler of the world, you have, it just takes a more flexible ideal of personal identity.  See, because there is a chance that you exist (which is a circuitous thought, because, obviously, you do) there are inherently an infinite number of you(s), which have had slightly different experiences than what you would attest to, thus have different similar preferences and beliefs, so all these people could claim to be you. 



     But because they are all different and of course the same as you and people do invariably vary from one to another, you could take this a bit further to the point of that all people are simply you at a different point in the probability grid.  Humor me; if all people can be generalized by such terms as, “people are beasts” or “people are sentient” and in fact, either of these statements can be reversed, as, “beasts are people, too” and, “sentient beings are people”.  This only further strengthens my argument.  From amoebas to deities, we are all the same, and thus falter at one question, because there is no answer.

     What is the meaning of it all? The truths, the facts, the realities, perceptions, free will, and consciousness; do any of these things arise from a higher calling? Perhaps, as I know that a god, who coordinated the pieces of the universe into a cohesive, albeit mysterious whole, is not an uncommon feature in the multiverse, but beyond our own universe and our neighbors, do these beings have a purpose?  After all, in Christianity, God (as in, their god) has no function beyond the creation, and we only serve as his worshippers, thus having no other alternate cause for existence. Is that really such a deep and fulfilling truth, that the world should acknowledge it as such?  I say this not out of anger (as of yet) but out of curiosity and wonder that  god desires and so creates what he wants to fill a requirement, but the real mystery here is the desire for this. Why does he deserve it? Why should he get what he wants when he should not want? Is his existence so pointless that the only way to relieve his sadness and frustration is to create something to lie to him and praise him for his simply being?                                                                                                       

     Humans have no such comfort, except from other humans, and this obviously doesn’t resolve the issue, because people are still searching for answers, because even we feel that the lie is feeble and transparent, which would only be a hundredfold more obvious to the “Creator” and “Alpha and the Omega”.  Truly, if god were all he was cracked up to be, we wouldn’t be here to argue the point, for his inward depth would suffice.  Maybe it would be prudent to ignore “perhaps” or “maybe” at this point.                                                                               *

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CI 03

At times I feel that there could be as of yet, more to the story than I anticipate, like now, as of this writing. But it is very hard to imagine anything more sound than scientific research, the fact that people have recognized and numerated the patterns ingrained in the very nature of reality. This makes very little sense, because to say that there is a pattern of fundamental square units of …say space, it feels very restrictive on the nature of things to be totally and forever that one particular way. It could in fact be units of triangular space, or hexagonal space, or alternating octagons and squares, as seen occasionally in tile floors, which seems also possible. Limiting fundamentality to scenes of super symmetric mathematical basis, I feel that cold steel embrace of well, lets call it fascism, for the sake of argument. This is not a fault on the part of those who search for truth and reason in this reality, who want there to be sense and function behind all things, but really the nature of existence, or god.

What god? And existence, which has no will or power over itself? No, but what if one considers chance, considers the uncertainty principle, and ponders over it, at which point does it become clear that these things are merely random? After all, every facet of life is expressed in physical codes, this written paper, your disbelieving thoughts, and your speech. Biology is the study of codes, chemical computorial processes, the most obvious being DNA, and all of the development of other chemical robots (enzymes) that process other, nonliving chemicals, such as calcium, water, and (just for the cheap laugh) poop. Every step, some information is taken and received by chemicals, and the really off the wall understanding is that chemicals, your desk, your brain, and your chair all harbor information.

This is the core argument for the existence of god: intelligent design; in all chemicals, something which is both lacking a brain yet works so efficiently and naturally with its neighbors to create the miracle of life, and for us, higher thinking skills (okay, some of us). This is a fundamental thing, that chemicals will do exactly the same thing every single time they interact (oil and water don’t mix, and putting oxygen and hydrogen together makes water). But, exactly what is the basis of this information, the fundamental pieces of it? None is my guess, because there is no basis for any of the letters, words, definitions, or pronunciations of the words used in this paper, unless you say there was a chemical basis for the English language engrained in us, and in all the other tongues and texts ever conceived. And even considering this approach, there is still no real reason behind the information implied in every pixel, or quark, or photon in the universe, unless you say it was god’s words that made it so. “Let there be light” could just as well been Lkytituf ndgdy jfuL, and made perfect sense, our mental conception would merely have to be altered.



I’m sure you couldn’t read that which was written in the blank space, but there is no evidence, that isn’t circumstantial, to the fact that I didn’t write something there. Everything you say and think in retort to this “nonsense” as they call it in the human mind is based upon nothing, because there is nothing but what is, every so called meaning behind expression, in any sense, is blotted out by this truth. This is why it is my very thoughtful belief that there is no god, and no free will, because logic compels me to embrace that everything is encapsulated in every unit of anything, be it this sentence, word, photon, or mental construct. Like an infinite onion, being placed in one of the layers means being immersed in infinitude at the same time as being on the highest plane of reality, having infinity beneath you, both of which are the same item.

However, inside the endless reality (which must be truly endless, as a pure implication of logic) with you is every possible conception, real or impossible, of reality: this is known as the Many Worlds Interpretation of quantum mechanics, recall the uncertainty principle. Now, this merely states that there are an infinite number of universes in a larger framework of the aptly named the Multiverse. Don’t sweat the details; it is simply a way of incorporating any scenario into reality, like a universe with an endless amount of fundamental particles, because an infinite number of wormholes going to other universes exist there, or a universe with an endless number of dimensions. Maybe some universes lack the concept of time, or others have new concepts that are alien to ours.

But this seems rather far-fetched, especially from the tomes of science and philosophy, but if one simply remembers that something can be interpreted as anything else, being that there is at least some truth in any fantasy, then it all fits perfectly. Like, “the color of nonexistence is black.” may be contradictory, but only if one can’t see every color as belonging to some item. In fact, we have no proof that there are only three core colors: yellow, blue, red, but rather, that is all we have come to perceive. And as you all very much remember my essay on Unfiltered Perception, this is exactly what I was talking about, that there is an infinite number of simply ideas we haven’t come across, not to mention that every thing is infinitely multifaceted and connected to everything else. This is why I think it is so impossible that all of the same thing can make something different, because it is at least partially different by necessity.

Simply something being at one place in spacetime sets it apart from itself in the next moment, because it is fundamentally changed, regardless of the truth that moments do not change. So, someone is someone different each time they blink, after every breath, because you find yourself engaging in a new concept, even though you think it engages you. After all, every concept is simply a structure of baseless ideas that have at best, an amorphous structure of yet more ideas based of nothing more than random ideas, this is what has been constantly referred to as a code; shown to be given meanings which can be completely opposite. But many people think that people change from one point to another, so this idea isn’t really a shock. But this change is instantaneous, as it has to be, otherwise time would never move (which I suppose happens from time to time). After all, an eternity lies within every hour, minute, second, and year, because a “moment” is simply the smallest part of time.

Although perhaps instantly is too much of an impossibility, so lets say the reciprocal of infinity, which when multiplied by infinity, you get one. This is the fundamental building block, the piece of unbreakable size, which is the same: 100% of information, such as: space, time, matter, consciousness, and even perhaps the elusive and touchy concept of soul. But, even though it is unintelligible, for the same reason it has to be 100% of anything, it can be 100% of several things, because if you add the reciprocal to itself, or multiply it by any number other than infinity, you get the same number, and the same idea applies to dividing infinity, exactly the opposite process. This is very hard to understand, that both of these things cannot be changed in any way, yet we can be. Especially when we are proportionate to infinity or the reciprocal if you consider our value from the other ends of the spectrum, respectively. I believe this all has your brain very warped by now, so I’ll digress for now and elaborate on the subject in future writings.                                                *

Truth, does it exist? Is it anything other than a word, more tangible and logically bound to reality? After all, we say that it is in a very profound manner, but to what end? As previously ascertained, everything is merely a sea of information, only ideas. I questioned the structure of thought, if it, like energy or mass, can be divided into smaller portions, until you reach a threshold, where a change must be made to continue. As in animals, you go directly to specialized pieces: bones, organs, and muscles; then these individual pieces are differently shaped and have slightly different composition, but are very similar. Cells are the smallest part of an organ or muscle, while bones only contain cells within them. Now it is simply chemical differences, and chemical differences are only different by bondage or atomic structure.

Now, as before, are ideas as individualistic as this, as a complete animal, or if not, where do they fit in? We divide language used to express ideas into categories, verbs, nouns, adjectives and adverbs, and not to mention all the punctuation marks. But to include ideas into this system is going to far, like saying anger is on the same level as a noun, or can be used as an adjective is lowering the status of this emotion. Even grammar, words, they fail after letters. The most puzzling thing is that this is all based in the physical universe, there is no mind, body and soul; there is only a body, only the parts and pieces. And yes, the parts of a mousetrap don’t, on there own, replace the actual article, but these things must be a part of the mousetrap, because they are necessary, and contain the fundamentals; like an atom is the most fundamental human being (realizing, of course, there are most definitely smaller increments). But this is barely the surface of the conundrum: how is it that there are complex beings when we are the same size as our constituent pieces? Or when we are infinite in exactly the same way?

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CI 04

At this point the problem occurs within our understanding; it is a paradox that is because of the relation of finite numbers and infinite numbers. There, right there, those five final words illustrates our utter lack of coherency, because what does it mean to say an infinite “number”, and is it any different than infinity itself? And aren’t finite numbers and rational expressions shorthand as well, because 676 is also …000000000676.0000000000… too, correct? And in that sense, all numbers are infinite by disregard to omission. This slight improvement only leaves open the true value of zero, which could simply be shorthand for a one followed by a multitude of zeroes that we can’t count (or really just the reverse in decimal situations) but mask the unit of actual value. And zero in all of those situations really can be anything, even “W” or pi. “0” is self-shorthand also when given thought; it really can be any number of zeroes without changing its value. And remember, this isn’t my plunging into the mysteries of symbolism and language; it is an attempt to realize the truth about numbers, in their natural state, whatever that might possibly be. Numbers, perhaps like colors, don’t have potential realization without the physical or symbolic alter egos; and yet, in those strange instances where colors can be tasted, and touch gets caught up in your visual perceptions, and what you hear is what you smell (I don’t want a whiff of yodeling, thank you), all reason is denied, and no matter what you say, these ideas come forth from their dimensions and take on a much fuller identity. Those experiences which are few and far between, although mostly brief and confounding, take the argument to a whole different battleground, like a parallel universe or something.

I do suppose that it could simply be the nature of interpretation, that we simply interpret truth and logic as real and indefatigable concepts: but if even these things can be thrown aside as casting off an article of clothing, what then happens when the fashion changes? Indeed, while logic tells us and the world tells us that nothing is sacred, nothing indeed! In fact, universes can live and thrive off of the titles of i’s, and then switch to yodeling as a central theme (god help us). But this, while an interesting idea, has already been allowed by logic, and so it seems that it is as inescapable as infinity, because we are all an immovable part of it, and always an infinite distance away from the boundary between sanity and happiness (the sad, yet funny, sadly humorous truth is that some of us {too few of us} are sane, and some of us {again too few in number} are happy, most neither, but none both; it really is a crying shame.). And yet, as logical as it is, it contradicts itself (just review what I’ve written) but only on the basis of being logical; so, it (like zero) exists to deny its existence.

Or, more accurately, a basis for proof of its existence: that would be the same as saying that all evidence is circumstantial, which is a perfectly logical conclusion. When one considers the magnitude of reality, and the utter reliance on quantum mechanics to produce information, all that we have recorded is only what was meant to be recorded, the numbers have been consistent because of the nature of order. But I repeat myself: order is only a more subtle and consistent way of understanding chaos because out of an infinite number of dice rolls, the same numbers can and will repeat. Like the repetition of 3, 4, 6, consistently, the force of gravity in any situation has been randomly chosen to be as it is per gram of mass and unit of distance, and has been always the same because of the random repetition of certain patterns. Entropy is a law that is the prime example of what I mean: it is really just an algorithm of the probabilities of achieving a low-entropic state, which is what we are. In fact, all of the galactic, solar, and planetary systems (orbiting, weather, biological and others) are low entropy, but are continuing to fall into mayhem and discord because it is more likely to happen. And notice that there is no such thing as a non-entropic state, and thus we are all subject to random accidents, wars, corruption, and global warming; it is the slightly chaotic doomed to fall into a pit of extreme chaos, that is the basics for the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

Entropy is the embodiment of the reality of order, but that merely illustrates the conundrum: how do we trust something which is subject to change, and indeed has changed, in order for our being to occur? That trust should enter the argument is vital, and we really can only go with what has been established, for to take that stance undermines itself, but this has already been established of our existence itself, so why not? I deeply fear that we may not be able to know everything, and then, functioning under the hypothesis that there is always knowledge and wisdom ad infinitum, we may never know anything at all; only thinking, and only being.

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CI 05

I have made a colossal breakthrough in my understanding! It will take a few pages of refinement before I can completely fit it with previous writings (I may be able to decide what my beliefs are), so feel free to re-read previous material. Don’t hold it against me for having self-doubt and having a great deal of contradiction, there will be a much needed falloff of that later; besides, these are queries that have puzzled thinkers for all of history, and even making it this far in my understanding is spectacular.

I feel that it may be a great deal of help to believe in reincarnation, for the simple observations that everything is both very similar and yet completely different in the next moment, and you can say that your identity is being reinvented every next second while still retaining all of the history that it held previously. To make it simple, I will state emphatically that all of reality can be experienced by one finite being, being reincarnated and becoming a new person every new moment, at the same time as an infinite number of universes are being born and an infinite number are collapsing into nothingness. After all, every thing in the multiverse is a finite number, unless you want to include the endless other finite numbers, but that is utterly missing the point. As previously stated, any finite number is the same size, except that it is infinite to the constituent parts and infinitely small when contrasted with the whole multiverse. But, I’m sure you ask, that would be impossible for one being to be everywhere, every when, correct? Normally, yes, but, it is very important to note that not all universes can possibly go only “forward” in time, there must be some that do not do this. The reasoning behind this is very straightforward.

The main reason for this is because if all universes acted in the same direction in the one time dimension we have (this is simplifying the matter greatly, because there is most likely and endless amount of different dimensions, as you recall reading), all of the universes would be cyclic, because that is what happens from time to time, universes become cycles, as there is the distinct possibility of that happening, and thus happens. But if this happens an infinite number of times every moment, and we already know that there are an infinite number of moments in a single second, then all of reality would be immersed in these cycles of finite repetition time, and thus all of reality would merely repeat itself again and again. Now, a moment is not of finite duration, being only a unit of reciprocating value (of infinity, naturally), so, if you want to believe that the multiverse isn’t doomed to only exhibit a pathetically small amount of what could be, and then you must believe in universes that go against the flow of time, and thus begin in a reality dominated by cycles, but end in the multiverse when there is not an all encompassing circle of life. This means that at any given moment, there are an infinite amount of realities, but they only can be non-cyclic ultimately (obviously excluding the day/ night cycle or others, but these are only cyclic for a finite period of time, because at some point one or all of the elements necessary for this process will be removed; like the destruction of the earth or the death of the sun), because the universes will undermine each other’s histories, they will create conditions that will cause each other to not exist, which is a logical impossibility, obviously, and the multiverse operates under logical pretenses, even though that seems to be impossible. I said it had some bugs to work out.

How does this relate to what I declared before (not that this really interests you, or anything), well, if we are all one finite being, then he would have to be everywhere. But, if I (or he, or you, or us, or them) were to have one life in a “forward” time universe and the next in a “backward” universe, then I could spend the next life as my own friend, or parent, or wife, ect. I might not even know myself at all or have any relation at all. The next consideration is why we have no memories of past lives, but that is not always 100% the case. I myself know myself, and she said that she saw some wall in Scotland (it apparently had some significance) and she knew what is was, even though she had no past experience with it, but that’s just one particular scenario, and can be contributed to several things other than past-life experience. However, there are several of these situations daily; ever heard of de-ja -vu?

But what of all the other information that exists, all of the information embedded within space- time, within these keys I’m typing on, within your eyes which allow you to perceive this writing. However, as in the Matrix (that movie gets picked on a lot, doesn’t it?) all of reality could be what we imagine it to be, only something which is a mental construct. The movie itself was a mental construct, but with man’s unique ability to fashion art out of raw stone, used materials and effort to make the movie into a physical entity, which the movie viewers re- instated into its original form, as the mental construct. But each step of the process is discovered and experienced in the mind, while there is never going to be proof that there was anything tangible there in the first place. I find that there is a great deal of mystery behind the concept of information, for the plain and simple reason that information is identified and processed by other information, which is perfectly logical, given the explanation I gave. And because of the proportion issue, there is always a proportionately finite being watching and seeing things happen on our scale of existence. But space and time don’t move, a moment in the 1600’s is always as it shall have been, the same is true for the future, but then what changes, and how does it change, to accommodate my philosophy? Especially when the same moment is being re-experienced infinitely by supposedly the same person, it doesn’t change, every finite singular being is doing exactly as he should at that moment. So there is no change, everything is going to happen exactly as it would go if we were knowledgeable of all the particles in the universe and their subsequent movements; we would see the future, because the universe is operating under laws. But these laws are subject to change, it would seem, so that is the end of that facet of the argument. Good thing too, I was writing myself into a corner, as it were. But still, moments cannot change, for if they did, we would have no history, we would not be able to trust our memories or sensations or anything. Perhaps we can’t, that is a possibility, but at least an infinite amount of me can do just that, and I only assume that that would be me, right here, right now.

But if there are existences at right angles to our time dimension, then they could affect us, and change us utterly, without us ever being conscious of them, or our change, because it would happen instantaneously, whenever, thus where ever, they chose. This time it is an instantaneous change, because their time dimension is the width of one moment in our time, in which their entire history is played out. In that single moment, they can change any facet of history they dislike, for their history and timeline isn’t just restricted to one moment in time, for them our universe is a giant construction set; they build one of our moments entirely, then the next, then the next, and so on. That may seem far-fetched, but really, the past is exactly what it is because of the chemical structure of the human mind, its ability to retain memory, which, if altered properly, will yield no inconsistency, “history is a pack of lies agreed upon”(Napoleon said that, for different reasons, I assure you, but nonetheless he was right). If there really is just one being, he will have arranged his own life to be exactly as he perceived it, and the lives of everyone else. It is very important to understand that there is not a single place in time on which there is an axis for this movement, just like space: there isn’t one place in the universe to go to so that you can go to the left or the right, up or down, every place in space has the ability to do this, and thus our little green men in question can move any when (and thus any where) they wish. Yes, that idea just came to me again as of this writing, thankfully; with it being incorporated, I am thus absolved of my dilemma. It would work exactly like a shirt, every stitch being crosshatched in time (in the same space) and held together mutually.

But, perhaps like fabric, this can be torn (by what, I cannot even imagine) and the strands will disintegrate at this place, until new futures and pasts and presents are made at that location in spacetime. Of course, I am using a two dimensional analogy, while space has, it is thought, 10 dimensions. This utterly changes the theory, because everyone knows that the leap from 2D to 3D is enormous, you add an infinite number of parallel planes in two more directions (in depth, obviously). Besides, I always would prefer it to have infinite dimensions, so this works out perfectly. You live life, then after all that boring mess is over, you live your next in a reality that is either parallel or perpendicular to your previous timeline (or yours, but you would have to at least travel through another dimension to get there). Or, if it really sucked, then you may just shoot off from that point and go to a timeline that won’t be related to it for a great distance. Geometrically, a point is really the center of a bunch of omitted lines that converge (I forget the term used {psst! It’s concurrent-whispers strange boy from future}), in fact an infinite mess of lines, just pick a direction and go. But if they say that your sins haven’t been paid for, then you will surely have to go along with them (not really, I just assume god has enough cash to hire big muscle, and there is not really any haggling opportunity with that sort).

I may indeed just be way out in left field on this one, but that is a real place, and I feel very justified in thinking that this is true at least some of the time, outside our universe, in between all the other bubbles, and this preserves the idea just fine. The one thing to make amends with is that the other beings on the right angle timeline to ours have complete control of them, yet we have no clue that points to their actual existence, and spacetime would have a radically different conception that it does. I suppose that if their civilization advanced before ours, and they beat us to the technological threshold, then they could have utterly eradicated our memories and removed us from our true history, like (yet again) in the Matrix. With that done, they perfected their technique on us or another alien civilization and perpetuate their reign of illusion. Hey, you know what, it has to happen somewhere, and our Torpid (another revision from the illusionary future) reality is the best place to start making crazy and outlandish declarations, we need a superbly un-tedious new worldview, we need to break free of at the very least, the chains of monotony.


People have been plagued with situations and conditions beyond their control for as long as there have been humans. Sometimes these occurrences are highly beneficial, or somewhat pleasurable. Being born into a rich family, or developing tool using skills at the right point in time, both of these things are largely the product of luck, or of fate, but to me, to state something like that is a distinction without a difference. After all, looking from the esteemed and highly regarded viewpoint of science, every condition is an effect of perfectly natural and wholly predictable phenomenon-to a very high degree, that is really what quantum mechanics is, the probability of such and such a scenario being witnessed. Even from my esoteric frame of mind, there is no concept of free will, because if there were, then the very existence of the multiverse would disintegrate, if everyone really had free will, then we would have both the focus and the knowledge to end our truthfully (and collectively) pitiable existence, throughout the entire multiverse. All we would have to

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